Ever been asked a tough question in a meeting and felt your whole body tense? You’re not alone. The instinct to brace ourselves, defend our stance, or shut down completely is wired into us. But here’s the catch: those high-pressure moments—when someone challenges us, pushes back, or calls on us unexpectedly—are also our biggest opportunities as leaders.
I was reminded of this recently while taking a LinkedIn Learning course called How to Speak Smarter When Put on the Spot by communication expert Matt Abrahams. I found it through Pete Mockaitis, host of the How to Be Awesome at Your Job podcast—one of the few shows that consistently offers grounded, useful advice for real-world leadership.
One core idea from the course really stuck: You can train for spontaneity. And the way you show up under pressure? It’s a skill, not a personality trait.
That instantly brought me back to something I underlined years ago in Talk Like TED by Carmine Gallo:
“Ideas are the currency of the twenty-first century. The ability to communicate your ideas persuasively is the single greatest skill you can learn.”
Gallo’s research showed that the most inspiring TED speakers weren’t the most polished. They were the most emotionally connected. They used storytelling, simplicity, and practiced spontaneity—not perfection—to draw people in.
If you want to lead with clarity and presence, especially in the unscripted moments, it starts with learning to reframe the room.
Why Pressure Changes Our Communication (and Culture)
Under stress, even seasoned leaders can get clipped in tone, closed in body language, and overly brief in response. That doesn’t just affect how we sound—it shapes how our team feels.
People read between the lines. If we show up tight and defensive, they’ll do the same. If we stay open and engaged, even in the face of discomfort, we give others permission to do the same.
Culture is contagious. And it often spreads one impromptu interaction at a time.
The Power of a Mental Reframe
Instead of seeing an unexpected question as a threat, what if you reframed it as:
- A chance to connect more deeply
- An opportunity to learn what’s not landing
- A moment to collaborate rather than control
This is where Gallo’s insights on storytelling apply. When leaders shift their mindset from “I need the perfect answer” to “Let me share something real,” they lower the stakes—and raise the connection. People remember how you made them feel. And they trust you more when you’re willing to meet the moment honestly, not flawlessly.
Behavioral Shifts You’ll Notice When You Reframe:
- Your answers get longer and more thoughtful
- Your tone shifts from curt to curious
- Your posture opens up—literally
- You start looking for shared goals, not just counterpoints
And here’s the surprising part: your team will feel the difference before you even finish speaking.
This Isn’t Just About Speaking—It’s About Leading
The more senior your role, the more your presence sets the tone. Reframing tough moments as opportunities signals emotional intelligence and psychological safety. You show your team that discomfort isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a moment of growth.
If you’re comfortable telling a quick story—or even just naming the tension—you instantly lower the temperature. (Talk Like TED showed that stories are 22x more memorable than facts alone. Use that.)
You don’t need to have a script. You just need to show you’re engaged, human, and listening.
Try This the Next Time You’re Put on the Spot:
- Pause. Instead of reacting fast, take a breath and ground yourself.
- Label it. Internally say, “Here’s an opportunity to connect.”
- Soften your stance. Literally. Relax your posture, steady your tone.
- Lean into curiosity. Ask a clarifying question if needed.
- Tell a short story (even a personal anecdote) to build connection.
Final Thought:
The best communicators—whether on TED stages or in Monday meetings—don’t aim for polish. They aim for clarity, connection, and calm under pressure.
Reframing a tense moment doesn’t just help you speak better. It helps you lead better. And if you’re ever unsure how long to speak or how much to share? Remember the 18-minute rule from TED: it’s long enough to be meaningful, short enough to stay sharp.
Because clarity isn’t about saying more. It’s about saying what matters, when it matters most.
