I’m no stranger to self-discipline. I’ve built businesses, survived cancer, written books, and held it together on days when “showing up” meant just breathing through the next ten minutes. But even with all that grit, habit-building has never felt easy for me—at least not the kind that sticks without a looming deadline or external accountability.
So I finally read Atomic Habits by James Clear—not just skimmed it, but actually sat with it. And to my surprise, some of it really worked. Not all of it. But enough to shift the way I approach behavior change—for good.
Here’s what stuck, what didn’t, and what I did instead.
What Actually Worked
1. Habit Stacking (But I Had to Make It Ridiculously Small)
James talks about linking a new habit to an existing one. For me, trying to tack a 20-minute routine onto my morning never lasted more than two days. But when I shrunk the new habit to something borderline laughable—like “open my language app while the coffee brews” or “do 5 squats after brushing my teeth”—it stuck.
The key wasn’t discipline. It was absurd simplicity.
My version:
“After I let the dogs out, I stretch for 2 minutes. That’s it. Then I usually keep going. But I don’t have to.”
2. The Two-Minute Rule
If it takes less than two minutes, do it. Or, if you’re starting a new habit, only commit to two minutes of it.
This helped me with journaling again. I stopped trying to write full entries and started with a single sentence each morning. No pressure, no narrative arc. Just: “Today, I want to feel _______.”
Funny how once the pen hits paper, more usually comes.
3. Reframing Identity
Clear talks about identity-based habits—how real change sticks when it becomes part of how you see yourself.
This one hit hard.
When I stopped saying, “I’m trying to get back into shape” and started saying, “I’m someone who moves daily, even if it’s small,” my follow-through changed.
Not because I suddenly had time or energy—but because I stopped making it negotiable. It wasn’t a to-do list item. It was just who I am now.
What Didn’t Work For Me
1. Habit Tracking
I get the appeal. It gamifies consistency. But for me, tracking quickly turned into another system to manage—and then feel guilty about abandoning. The streaks didn’t motivate me; they stressed me out.
So I let that part go.
Instead, I started keeping a looser “done list”—a quick daily note of what I did follow through on, even if it wasn’t on the original plan. That built momentum without the shame spiral.
2. Environment Design (To a Point)
“Make the good habit easy and the bad habit hard” sounds perfect in theory. But sometimes I want my space to feel like mine—not a behavioral science experiment.
Yes, I moved the junk food. Yes, I put the book on my nightstand. But I’m not rearranging my entire house for dopamine. There’s a line—and for me, comfort still matters.
I want my life to feel livable, not just optimized.
What I Added (That the Book Didn’t Say)
James Clear is brilliant, but here’s something I had to learn through my own trial and error:
Momentum matters more than mastery.
I don’t need to do it perfectly. I just need to do it enough times that I start to believe I’m the kind of person who follows through.
Also: pairing habits with things I enjoy (like listening to music while stretching, or learning Greek while I walk) kept me going far longer than willpower ever did.
Final Thought
Atomic Habits didn’t change my life overnight—but it did change how I think about change.
And that might be the real habit worth keeping.
